After 1500 years would you get sick of yourself? Merlin certainly had. Every memory of before had played on repeat so many times it was like it was scratched into his skull like an inmate passing time. Memories of Camelot, of Gwen and Gaius and the knights. Of him.

******

'Come on Merlin we haven't got all day. Or all night rather.'

'What exactly was so important that you just had to interrupt my sleep. My oh so precious sleep?'

'I'm just about to show you, if you could give me a little patience.' Arthur's words were perfectly civil, but his voice betrayed the annoyed affectionate that it usually had when speaking to Merlin as he fiddled with the stiff lock.

Merlin muttered threats under his breath.

'There we go.' Arthur sighed, opening the door to reveal the suprise that had been waiting.

'....A cat?' Merlin was confused.

'Its a present? For you? Wow Merlin I was expecting a little more enthusiasm.'

'I am enthusiastic, just, you know a little shocked that you managed to keep it alive for this long.'

'Of course. As a prince I'm adept at all things, even caring for small creatures such as this one. You'll be naming it Arthur, naturally, after me.'

Merlin rolled his eyes at him.

*********

He did try to keep going of course, keep up the pretense of being a regular, normal person. So well practised at it he could do it on autopilot. Some days he didn't regain consciousness until lunch time, having gone through the whole morning in a blurred out haze. It simply gave him more time for his mind to wander.

***********

They should probably get moving. It was way past noon and Arthur was soo late for his council meetings. Neither of them wanted to move though, lying on his bed, sunbeams streaming through the window onto them. The sun illuminated Arthur like a halo; his hair almost golden, eyes like a perfect blue sky.

'Five more minutes?' He whispered softly into Merlin's ear.

Five more minutes.

***********

Of course he kept going, he had to. Merlin had to keep going, take care of the lakeside, take care of the land Arthur would one day return to. Because he would return, of course he would. Arthur wouldn't just leave Merlin, he was coming back. Right?

************

'I'm so sorry Gwen, I, I tried my best. I couldn't save him.' Merlin could barely meet her eyes. How could you tell your best friend that her husband was dead, and that you couldn't save him. The image just kept flashing behind his eyes, of Arthur just lying there bleeding out by the lake, the helplessness in his eyes. The betrayal when Merlin told him about his magic.

The druids told Merlin that Arthur was destined to come back, to save his kingdom at its weakest point. Merlin thought that was bullshit. What was the point in Arthur coming back when Albion was at weakest, when he needed him now? They all needed him now.